knox snooze

Succotash my Balzac, dipshiitake.

Embracing my inner jerk

I have a dog and two cats. The cats I like. The first cat we got from a friend who lived down the street when we were first married. He (the cat, not the friend) is kind of an asshole who likes to be fed just before dawn, but we generally get along. I'm pretty sure the second cat is mentally retarded, which is fine. I get along really well with retards. I am totally smarter than her and I control her food. She thinks I rule a small planet that is full of kitty chow, and that I periodically go there, whip the people into submission and return with my plunder of delicious food, which she then eats as if she has never tasted it before and it is totally blowing her mind.

But the dog is a different story. Her name is Emma, and she's really sweet. She doesn't want to be a problem. Honestly, she just wants to sleep on the couch, leak pee onto it, and for no one to raise their voice above a whisper while she is in the room. She's got some cowardice issues. As in, loud farts make her knees buckle in fear.

We've had Emma for a year now. And I thought she would become more comfortable around us and grow braver and more friendly. And I guess she has a little, but she still pees out of fear/excitement/idiocy when I get home. And I thought that maybe it would irritate me less when I was out of school for a while and had more time to exercise her and I wasn't as stressed out. But, I've been out of school for about a week now, and I just want her to go away. It's bad, I know. She's just a dog. She just wants to be loved, and I want her to die quietly or run away.

Who wants a doggy for Christmas?
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12/21/2005 11:19 AM Blogger pa7m3r

I am so calling peta    



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