knox snooze

Succotash my Balzac, dipshiitake.

Craig Ferguson is trying to kill us all

I'm a Conan guy. Probably always will be. Every now and then, however, my TV wanders over to CBS and I catch a little bit of Craig Ferguson, who would be only mildly amusing if not for the rad Scottish accent (as opposed to the accent I have when watching late night TV: Scotch).

I heard a little bit of his theme music the other night. Sure, it's chipper and a bit drinking-song sounding, and it's full of life's little truths by which I try to live ("You can always sleep through work tomorrow"). But the part that caught me off guard was "Tomorrow's just a future yesterday." That's how the song ends, and it holds on to that last syllable of "yesterdaaaaaaay" just long enough for my booze-hazed mind to spin into a wild abyss of existential crisis. Because, you know, that's true, and it's kind of depressing.

And I might be able to get over it pretty quickly under normal circumstances, but this is non-Conan late night TV I'm watching, so by the time Arianna Huffington comes on as the second guest, I'm out of single malt, and I'm wondering how quickly I could end it all by smashing the empty bottle on the coffee table and jamming the remnants into my eyes.

Luckily for me, I'm even lazier when I'm drunk, so I never get around to trying. But someone who is even a marginal go-getter could be in serious danger if he watches the show. I'm just saying, you know...shower the people you love with love...and don't let them watch CBS after Letterman, whatever you do.
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9/16/2005 8:19 AM Anonymous benny

I thought you would love Craig Ferguson, considering he worked in Cleveland for years.    



9/16/2005 8:35 AM Blogger ashby

He only pretended to work in Cleveland. I think we all know it was Drew carrying the show while pretty much everyone slacked.    



9/16/2005 9:10 PM Blogger Frank Strovel III

When you've got a masturbating bear, why look elsewhere?    



10/02/2005 3:22 AM Anonymous dreamgirl

Craig Ferguson is a comedic genius.    



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