knox snooze

Succotash my Balzac, dipshiitake.

Has the AC always been this loud?

I have been drinking regularly, even religiously, on Tuesday nights for a few years. I get together with some friends, we read and write a little, and then we hit a local joint for pinball, pool, and a few pints.

This is background information.

I have learned to hold my own, and hold it damn well with a pint or five in me. I'm conversational and coherent, and I'm generally pretty good about not showing people my ass (though, sometimes it is all that can be done). I'm a creature of habit, and I hang out at the same 4-5 places downtown. But last night, something different happened. I think someone may have forgotten to stir the pot a few times on the last batch of White Mule at DG&B or something because it was dern near hallucinogenic.

To wit, I had to retrieve my truck from their parking lot, my phone from the laundry, and my good name from my wife's all-time shit list this morning. I have a vague memories of vomiting, hitting someone's knee with a pool cue, referring to a stranger as a fatass while in conversation with him, and telling someone to, "check out our balls," though not in that order.

I don't know if it was the total loss of power overnight or the mind-wiping stench of my dirty socks in the hamper, but my phone has no recollection of outgoing calls placed between 6:30 yesterday evening and 11:20 this morning. I know this is not true, not because my memory is any better, but because my wife expressed in glowing terms this morning how thrilled she was to be roused from bed at 2:30 by my belligerently plowed voice on the phone.

I really don't want to go through the contact list game where I call every number I have in order to "catch up" and wait to hear who answers my call with news of a restraining order. Again.

Let's do it this way: Friends, family, internets, Earth; I'm sorry about last night.
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8/17/2005 9:24 PM Anonymous rex_jedson@yahoo.com

Had to laugh about blaming the phone problems on dirty socks. My socks could knock out the power grid of a city block. Maybe that's because I have a habit of wearing them from the hamper again. Marriage to my future wife should cure me of wearing yesterday's socks. That way, the stench will only be strong enough to temporarily disrupt phone service, and not take out entire electrical systems. Rex    



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